I remember, a few decades ago, dancing with my then husband; I could not get over the fact that we were out of sync, not able to smoothly flow across the dance floor as we had in the past. Once upon a time we received compliments from onlookers as we swayed to and fro like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. That day, we were at a party and he asked me to dance, I reluctantly agreed. As we attempted to establish a flow I kept thinking: “My hip hurts”.
As we struggled to get in our, what should have been, natural rhythm- him gently leading me and I sensing the direction he was going to go in, it became obvious that he was not even paying attention to me. My now ex-husband, was looking around to see if anyone was looking at us; we used to get looks of admiration, not anymore. It was a struggle to get through the song, he could not lead and I could not follow.
It is hard to find a partner that you can be in sync with, especially when you are over 60. I hear young people talk about being sexually compatible but at our age sex is not a priority, no matter what some of these men may say. More important than sexual encounters is making sure our lifestyles are compatible. Will we be in sync?
Does he listen to the television at high volume? Is she talking on the phone to her children and grandchildren most of the day? Does he like to travel? Is she a homebody? Is one a conservative dresser and the other like to let everything hang all out? Are you a healthy eater or do you like the buffet? What time do you go to bed? What time does he get up in the morning. Are you even capable of sexual intimacy? Can you dance?
We all want to be able to dance with someone, even if you are simply sitting in a chair holding hands. At our age not everyone is able to dance because of that bad hip, arthritic knees, or your just plain tired but we can sit on the couch and watch an old Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movie and celebrate the dance.
Yes, I can still dance. I danced with a man on a date, the problem was: we don’t like the same music.

Written by Marsha L Floyd