PROTECTIVE ORDERS AND THE REALITIES OF SURVIVAL

I experienced spousal abuse and law enforcement could not help me. In the late 1980’s I called 911 and the law enforcement officer, seeing the blood on my face, explained why it would not be a good idea to press charges against my abuser.  I stayed at a hotel with my 3 children for a few days and returned home. In less than a year later I got the courage to not only leave but move to another county far away from my abuser. Departure was the beginning of the “hell” I had to go through to divorce my abuser.

During one of the divorce proceedings my abuser threatened me as I was stepping down from the witness stand and he was walking up to it. The judge did not hear his threat but the deputy did, he informed the judge. I had to have police escort whenever I left the courthouse to the county line and notify the sheriffs office when I arrived within the county lines. (Did I mention, he was a cop?)  He stalked me, snuck into my mother’s home where I and our 3 children resided, took them and refused to return them. It took 2 court orders to force him to return the children to me. 

What stopped the harassment? A man who was stronger and smarter than him, someone I was dating who also happened to be a law enforcement officer.

Getting a Protective Order against your abuser is necessary but it does not guarantee the split-second response time often needed; but you must leave.

I have forgiven my abuser BUT I promise you, even if I am in my home by myself, he is not a threat to me.

The following video is what happens when people trust the Protective Order but do not put in safety measures. NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO IN CASE the abuser shows up can be deadly. – Marsha L Floyd